How to Prepare for Divorce: A Practical Checklist

Whether you've been considering divorce for months or the decision was sudden, proper preparation can make the process smoother, protect your interests, and reduce stress. This comprehensive checklist covers the financial, legal, and emotional steps to take before filing.

Financial Preparation

Financial matters are at the heart of most divorce proceedings. Taking time to understand and document your finances now will pay dividends later.

Gather Financial Documents

Start collecting copies of important financial records. You'll need these for your attorney, for negotiations, and potentially for court. Make copies and store them somewhere your spouse cannot access like a safe deposit box, a trusted friend or family member's home, or a secure cloud storage account.

Understand Your Financial Picture

Many spouses, particularly those who weren't the primary financial manager, enter divorce without a clear understanding of household finances. Take time to:

• List all assets and their approximate values
• List all debts and who is responsible for each
• Understand your monthly income and expenses
• Know how much you spend on essentials (housing, food, utilities, insurance)
• Identify which accounts are joint vs. individual

Protect Yourself Financially

• Open individual accounts: If you don't have a bank account and credit card in your name only, open them now
• Build an emergency fund: Try to set aside 3-6 months of living expenses if possible
• Check your credit report: Get a free report from annualcreditreport.com and review for accuracy
• Don't hide assets: Moving money or hiding assets can backfire seriously in court
• Avoid major purchases: Large purchases during divorce can complicate proceedings

Legal Preparation

Research Your State's Laws

Divorce laws vary significantly by state. Understanding the basics will help you have informed conversations with attorneys and set realistic expectations.

• Residency requirements: How long must you live in the state before filing?
• Grounds for divorce: Most states allow no-fault divorce, but some still require grounds
• Property division: Is your state community property or equitable distribution?
• Waiting periods: Many states require a separation or waiting period
• Custody presumptions: How does your state typically handle custody?

Consult with Attorneys

Even if you plan to mediate or handle an uncontested divorce, consulting with an attorney early provides valuable guidance. Most offer free or low-cost initial consultations.

• Interview at least 2-3 attorneys before choosing
• Ask about their experience, approach, and fees
• Understand the likely timeline and process
• Get a realistic assessment of potential outcomes

Document Important Information

Keep a record of information that might be relevant to your case:

• Your spouse's income, employment, and work schedule
• Current parenting arrangements and children's schedules
• Any incidents of abuse, addiction, or concerning behavior (with dates)
• Major purchases or financial decisions made during the marriage
• Contributions each spouse made to the household

Practical Preparation

Housing Considerations

Think through your living situation:

• Do you want to stay in the family home, or would you prefer to move?
• Can you afford the home on your own (mortgage, taxes, maintenance)?
• If you need to move, what can you afford? Research rental prices in your area
• If you have children, how would moving affect their schools and activities?

Employment and Income

Assess your ability to support yourself:

• Are you currently employed? If not, start thinking about job options
• Do you need additional education or training to re-enter the workforce?
• Update your resume and LinkedIn profile
• Consider whether you need to increase your hours or find additional income

Important Records

Ensure you have access to:

• Birth certificates (yours and children's)
• Social Security cards
• Passports
• Marriage certificate
• Health records and insurance cards
• Children's school records

Emotional Preparation

Build Your Support System

Divorce is emotionally challenging. You don't have to go through it alone:

• Confide in trusted friends or family: Choose people who will support you without escalating conflict
• Consider therapy: A counselor can help you process emotions and make clear-headed decisions
• Join a support group: Connecting with others going through divorce can reduce isolation
• Avoid over-sharing on social media: Posts can be used against you in court

Protect Your Children

If you have children, their wellbeing should be a top priority:

• Avoid speaking negatively about your spouse in front of them
• Reassure them that both parents love them
• Maintain routines and stability as much as possible
• Consider family therapy to help children adjust
• Don't use children as messengers or put them in the middle

Take Care of Yourself

• Maintain healthy eating and sleeping habits
• Exercise regularly; it's a natural stress reliever
• Limit alcohol and avoid using substances to cope
• Make time for activities you enjoy
• Be patient with yourself because healing takes time

What NOT to Do

Avoid these common mistakes that can hurt your case:

• Don't move out hastily: Leaving the home can affect custody and property rights so consult an attorney first
• Don't hide or destroy assets: Courts take financial dishonesty very seriously
• Don't badmouth your spouse: Especially not to children, on social media, or in writing
• Don't make major financial decisions: Avoid large purchases, transfers, or closing accounts without legal advice
• Don't start a new relationship: Dating before divorce is final can complicate proceedings
• Don't ignore the process: Failing to respond to legal documents can result in default judgments

Your Next Steps

Preparation is empowering. By taking these steps, you're setting yourself up for a more manageable divorce process. Remember:

1. Start gathering documents today
2. Schedule consultations with 2-3 attorneys
3. Build your support system
4. Take care of your physical and emotional health
5. Focus on what you can control